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monkey

House Rules

Three months ago, new neighbors moved in.
Sweet old couple, both retired.

After a few days, I began waking up really tired with this weird feeling of knowing the latest news by heart.

I was puzzled and had trouble working... slowly, their evil plan unfold itself to me.

Those coward bastards wake up at 06.45 AM, pop the TV on, pump the volume sky high.
Every fuckin' day. Every day the sky gettin' higher.

My sleep is tough, so they began by just disturbing my REM phase.
After one month of teasing, they reached nerve disruption level.

I've lived in a flat long enough to know there's no such thing as diplomacy or reasoning with this kind of devil.

Yet.

Yet I tried - stupid me - to let the sweet old couple know my point.

Conscious that hard feelings make me a bad ambassador, I had an intermediary ask them to lower the volume, buy headphones or die prematurely, which ever was more convenient.
I didn't even come to the point of mentioning the "low noise till 08:00 am" house rule... I was desperate, but not that crazy to believe in law.

The next day I was sweetly awaken by a tidal wave of advertising and jingles.
I think I heard some laughter, too.

It was time to settle this the old fashioned way: retaliation.

I'm currently pumping 100db towards their bedroom... Tragic Kingdom by No Doubt, how ironic.

I heard noises coming from their lair... it's strange, I know for a fact they like to go to sleep early. Too bad I cannot hear a word of what they say... maybe they like the music... maybe they want more. Sorry, it's 00:00, it's time to lower the volume.

Next show begins tomorrow at the same time.

Hope you're not too tired when you wake up 06:45... sweet dreams.
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Whose hooooouse? Ron's hooooouse!
monkey

March 2010

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